I’ve always been aware of and embracing of my gender fluidity – neither fully masculine nor feminine – but ebbing and flowing with the moment and how I interact with the world.

My androgynous appearance contributes greatly to this, and I have always allowed myself to inhabit feminine as well as masculine spaces, physically, mentally and sexually. My femininity does not detract from my masculinity and vice versa – I don’t feel like “a woman trapped in a man’s body” – I feel like I am who I am, and I enjoy being able to exist in spaces along the spectrum, comfortably and unselfconsciously.

Ironically “gender fluidity” becomes a meaningless segregation when we strip our way of thinking of many of the assumptions that have been programmed into us – when we take away the value judgement socially inherent in calling something “masculine” or “feminine”.  They are different types of energy, like a waveform oscillating between negative and positive. Light and dark, solid, liquid and gas, soft and hard, physical and mental, conscious and unconscious. There are too many binaries we are trapped into, without realising that they are just markers and words. Think of what you have classified as “masculine” or “feminine” traits, and then examine where they can be found… when you strip away preconceptions, they can be used as objective markers, and not as epithets or derogatory commentary when seen in the opposite sex. Might as well say that the colour blue is right and proper for the sky, and mock the sunsets for their pinkness and reds.  When we strip away the imaginary limitations of  sex, gender and persona, we become freer – we grow – we become more powerful and content.

This does not mean having no preferences or boundaries – but being free to explore them and have them form naturally.

I believe in having the freedom to express whatever part of the personality needs and desires to be expressed, regardless of where it sits along the gender binary.  Why should we limit ourselves to one section of the spectrum of human and personal expression?  What harm does it do to explore and engage, to push the boundaries of what we think of as male or female?  Our personalities and motivations are complex – to allow them freedom of movement and growth is a beautiful, empowering and transformative thing. We need not be one or the other, nor even stop anywhere along the line – we are ever changing, ever shifting, ever evolving, and a sense of fluidity and grace within our personal evolution is within all of our grasps if we just let go of the fear of judgement, and the judging of each other. To move uninhibited between both binaries brings a greater understanding of the other – engaging as the other gender to which we are biologically born can enrich and empower us, sexually, socially, creatively, mentally.

If we allow ourselves to be truly free in this sense, then many of the very ideas and concepts of discrimination and repression would be nullified.  Change throughout corporate, societal and sexual culture can only come about from an individual basis – so to live free, and true, is for everyone – and I believe that we must live truly to ourselves, not just for us but to allow others to do so as well. Because being true lets others see that they can be as well. Instead of casting up more barriers by segregating ourselves into smaller and smaller groups which then by their natures end up being pitted against one another, embrace the differences in everyone’s experience and interpretation of gender / persona makeup as a universal fluidity of nature.

When we take away the barriers of “oh I shouldn’t think this, that’s a male / female thing” – the possibilities for life and living and interaction open up dramatically. Our ability for empathy grows. When we allow ourselves to step into someone else’s shoes, we might just find that they are a better fit than the ones that we have been told to wear. This can take the form of many things, allowing ourselves to feel through emotions and desires uninhibited by what it has been taught to us to mean masculine or feminine, to try on aspects the “opposite” sex, to explore avenues of sexual behaviour, to try on different roles that society has programmed us into thinking are meant for one gender or the other.

And it’s just damn sexy to see the uninhibited self – stripped away of preconceptions of male / female step outside the requirements and boundaries of what society sees as appropriate or aesthetically pleasing, or judged attractive. There is an attraction and fascination in seeing the masculine within a feminine body, and the feminine within a masculine body that cannot be denied – and which can be found through all cultures throughout history and the world.

So cast off the preconceptions and explore – not just for yourself, but for everyone.

That’s what I think anyway, and I welcome anyone’s views or experiences in this.

Much love,

Jaiden Lillith