Category: Shibari

Inches from the ground…

Welcome back – it’s been a while since a long post because life has just gotten extremely busy – lovely, but I haven’t had the time to write which I would have liked. So, here it is, my ramblings on what’s been going on with rope lately.

We’ve been doing a lot of performances of late – quite fast paced and theatric ones – and I love them, the charge, the thrill, the delight of those who are witnessing it. But there is a price – It’s easy to get lost in the adrenaline rush and aesthetic pleasures of a performance piece with focus shifting outward, past that sphere of the “you and I”. Riding that balance between chemistry and spontaneity, and the constraints of time, themes and the audience. An audience whose attention spans and energy expectations are tuned to that of an evening of distraction and sensual stimuli, such as a loud venue, a club night or a more burlesque atmosphere. The purists may say “damn the audience, we’ll do what we want!” – but that is the whole premise of playing to an audience – for better or worse, you need to be aware of THEIR reactions and energies.

Recently I’ve been playing a lot more with low level and partial suspensions, and it’s been magical. There is a certain special tension and energy from holding someone just inches from the ground, bound tightly and so very close to landing, but held there – like the last moment of a fall to earth captured in amber, a drop of water hanging off a leaf, trembling to fall. You can feel the closeness of landing, yet knowing that the moment of release from that excrutiating anticipation is purely within the hands of another is its own delicious torture. There is a nearly palpable erotic charge between the body and the ground, with gravity trying to reclaim those particles tied and pulled away from its will. That psychological sadism of toying with the promise of release being held so close yet so far, allowing a limb to touch the ground and then taking it away again always brings a smile to my face.

The interplay of anticipation, building of tension and energy, exposure and slow languid sensuality, punctuated by those intense moments which draw a sharp sigh, of the body arcing slightly, then relaxing back like a wave hitting a crest, the beautiful agonized expression falling into a blissful release – of finding the right pattern and rhythm for each body and soul to unlock the way to their own path to abandon. These are journeys I always delight in embarking on.

These more deeply personal moments, where the play is just for you and I, where any observers are incidental and fade off into the event horizon, are those moments where we lose ourselves, where we can find the places that take time, that cannot be compressed into a set piece, that flow and change like the tides and currents just below the surface of a deceptively calm exterior. Perhaps a good analogy of the dichotomy of performance and play is the difference between pornography and intimate sex – one is a performance, and the things which make the meeting of two bodies and minds so deeply satisfying to the minds and bodies involved are an array of subtleties which are lost on an observer – without the intersection of all the senses, you end up relying on the visual, the aural, you’re playing WITH the audience, not just your partner. No matter how pure an intention, the observed cannot help but be altered by the observer.

Shifting focus between one sphere and another, bringing something back from one to the other, translating and adapting what’s been learned in one world to another – one finds new places in between, and those tiny spaces expand into their own vista of possibilities. There are so many places to explore in rope and play, and each new discovery or uncovering depths behind existing knowledge is a joyful experience.

It’s been a journey… and that road carries on and on.

Catch you in the ropes soon.

<3

Lillith


Pretty Shibari Things

Adventures in Shibari…

A lovely victim for my Assymetric torture ties.


A love letter

That moment when someone is bound for the first time.
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Wondering whether they will take to it – do those shoulders relax, or tense? Does their breathing quicken or slow? Does that look in their eye, that quizzical furrow of a new sensation bode well? Do they breathe that tell-tale sigh as I feel their body, mind and spirit submitting to the sensation of ropes and binding? Is it the wrapping, or the release that pushes them into the depths? The moment where they wait, having surrendered their control, unsure of what the next move will be. Is that their pleasure or their fear?

And what do we do with that?

That moment when someone is lifted off the ground for the first time.

The testing of the harness. The first bit of lift, of rope starting to remove them from the grasp of gravity. Watching them close, as in that final moment, the last limb connecting them to the earth is taken up, and they are floating, spinning, hanging – like a freeze frame, like a butterfly in amber.

Do they release a breath, sink deep into the ropes and float? Do they struggle, gasp for air and resurface? Do they seek the quiet bliss in stillness or the sound and fury of movement and sensation? The deliciously slow anticipation and infliction of that deep aching? A quick strike? A slow spin? The promise of the shape can be drawn out of them, coaxing, pulling and guiding into a new configuration… Will they suffer for me? Will they hang effortlessly? Do they form a graceful arc, or a solid bold stroke?

The gasp, the ropes sliding across skin, the closeness, the touch of flesh to flesh, skin to skin. Teasing, smelling, tasting, dancing around them. The way the rope takes to their body, the way each tie is crafted to the one that is being tied. Tailoring the rope, reading flesh, bone, musculature and writing a poem on their skin. Reading deeper, the heart, mind, thoughts, and throwing a rope around the scattered pieces, drawing it tight and bringing them home.

The rope is a brush, a pen, a string, an instrument. Nothing more, nothing less. The intersection of will and spirit – the song, the letter, the poem, the picture, the dance.

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Sometimes it ends in silliness and giggles. Sometimes the tie ends early because of discomfort. Sometimes we’re practicing, like walking through the steps of the dance, sometimes it’s like absentmindedly stroking someone’s hair as we watch the television. Sometimes it’s that moment of internal suspension, that deep bliss and head trip. Sometimes it’s two people sitting under the stars content in the stillness of silent companionship. Sometimes like two friends laughing uproariously as they wrestle. Sometimes it’s like fucking with rope. Sometimes it’s fucking with rope.

When it ends, bringing you back to the ground gently, unwrapping you, holding you. Or perhaps, doing something stupid like messing up your hair and running away laughing. The unravelling, more than an appendix, is vital… I love that the ending of the rope takes its own arc, is every bit as essential to the experience to the beginning and middle. Sometimes we forget how important the way we end things is.

Every time is different, the second, third, fourth, twentieth, hundredth… a seduction that never ends, each time discovering anew.

Every time, everyone, every moment, something different, something changes.

And when it reaches deep, when it passes through the skin… The world tilts.

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Fluidity – Gender, Persona, Masculinity and Femininity

DSC07966-768x1150I’ve always been aware of and embracing of my gender fluidity – neither fully masculine nor feminine – but ebbing and flowing with the moment and how I interact with the world.

My androgynous appearance contributes greatly to this, and I have always allowed myself to inhabit feminine as well as masculine spaces, physically, mentally and sexually. My femininity does not detract from my masculinity and vice versa – I don’t feel like “a woman trapped in a man’s body” – I feel like I am who I am, and I enjoy being able to exist in spaces along the spectrum, comfortably and unselfconsciously.

Ironically “gender fluidity” becomes a meaningless segregation when we strip our way of thinking of many of the assumptions that have been programmed into us – when we take away the value judgement socially inherent in calling something “masculine” or “feminine”.  They are different types of energy, like a waveform oscillating between negative and positive. Light and dark, solid, liquid and gas, soft and hard, physical and mental, conscious and unconscious. There are too many binaries we are trapped into, without realising that they are just markers and words. Think of what you have classified as “masculine” or “feminine” traits, and then examine where they can be found… when you strip away preconceptions, they can be used as objective markers, and not as epithets or derogatory commentary when seen in the opposite sex. Might as well say that the colour blue is right and proper for the sky, and mock the sunsets for their pinkness and reds.  When we strip away the imaginary limitations of  sex, gender and persona, we become freer – we grow – we become more powerful and content.

This does not mean having no preferences or boundaries – but being free to explore them and have them form naturally.

I believe in having the freedom to express whatever part of the personality needs and desires to be expressed, regardless of where it sits along the gender binary.  Why should we limit ourselves to one section of the spectrum of human and personal expression?  What harm does it do to explore and engage, to push the boundaries of what we think of as male or female?  Our personalities and motivations are complex – to allow them freedom of movement and growth is a beautiful, empowering and transformative thing. We need not be one or the other, nor even stop anywhere along the line – we are ever changing, ever shifting, ever evolving, and a sense of fluidity and grace within our personal evolution is within all of our grasps if we just let go of the fear of judgement, and the judging of each other. To move uninhibited between both binaries brings a greater understanding of the other – engaging as the other gender to which we are biologically born can enrich and empower us, sexually, socially, creatively, mentally.

If we allow ourselves to be truly free in this sense, then many of the very ideas and concepts of discrimination and repression would be nullified.  Change throughout corporate, societal and sexual culture can only come about from an individual basis – so to live free, and true, is for everyone – and I believe that we must live truly to ourselves, not just for us but to allow others to do so as well. Because being true lets others see that they can be as well. Instead of casting up more barriers by segregating ourselves into smaller and smaller groups which then by their natures end up being pitted against one another, embrace the differences in everyone’s experience and interpretation of gender / persona makeup as a universal fluidity of nature.

When we take away the barriers of “oh I shouldn’t think this, that’s a male / female thing” – the possibilities for life and living and interaction open up dramatically. Our ability for empathy grows. When we allow ourselves to step into someone else’s shoes, we might just find that they are a better fit than the ones that we have been told to wear. This can take the form of many things, allowing ourselves to feel through emotions and desires uninhibited by what it has been taught to us to mean masculine or feminine, to try on aspects the “opposite” sex, to explore avenues of sexual behaviour, to try on different roles that society has programmed us into thinking are meant for one gender or the other.

And it’s just damn sexy to see the uninhibited self – stripped away of preconceptions of male / female step outside the requirements and boundaries of what society sees as appropriate or aesthetically pleasing, or judged attractive. There is an attraction and fascination in seeing the masculine within a feminine body, and the feminine within a masculine body that cannot be denied – and which can be found through all cultures throughout history and the world.

So cast off the preconceptions and explore – not just for yourself, but for everyone.

That’s what I think anyway, and I welcome anyone’s views or experiences in this.

Much love,

Jaiden Lillith


Welcome to Fields of Lillith V2

Greetings, welcome to my new home.

It’s been a long, wonderful and crazy ride since I posted my first website, and many things have changed – there has been a lot of intense self scrutiny, exploration, experience and learning, and I am so very blessed to have experienced the connections and met the people that I have since embarking on my journey – to all of you, my love and thanks.

I look forward to continuing my journey, and meeting many new wonderful people along the way, having deep and intense experiences and of course, playing and connecting in fun, terrible, deliciously sadistic and intensely affecting ways.

I have updated my erotica section with new stories, and will be publishing a newsletter to subscribers letting you all know what kinky things have been happening in my life, as well as news, poetry, fiction and events.

Be well, all!

Sai Jaiden Lillith