Tours, blog updates & super secret things.

The Garden of Eden (Or How Eve Got Her Mojo)

Scene – Garden of Eden, rolling fields, a gleaming warm sun, untouched spectacular vistas of wondrously strange flora and fauna, blah blah blah.
A luscious naked lady stares wistfully at an apple in a tree.

A figure in a black coat and slouch hat slides up sinuously to her… The voice which emerges is a strange and melodic combination of feminine and masculine, as if two voices spoke at once, and dripping with seduction.

“Hey sexy naked vixen, looking up at that apple, what’s going on?”

Eve jumps and spins around, surprised. “Oh! Who are you? I haven’t seen you around before.”

The figure grins, slightly pointed teeth showing.
“I’m Lucifer. But you can call me Lucy if you like.”
The figure makes a movement somewhere between a bow and a curtsey, body twisting in somewhat impossible ways.

Eve giggles. “Pleased to meet you! I’m Eve!” She tries to copy the movement, fails spectacularly, falls over in a heap and giggles again. “I thought it was just me and Adam around here..” She eyes him speculatively, then returns her attention to the apple and pouts, her perfect red lips mirroring the shape of that tantalizing fruit.

“I really REALLY want to try that apple. But I CAN’T. I’ve been told I shouldn’t.”

“Oh really?” sidles up closer “But surely it can’t hurt to have just a little… why shouldn’t you eat it?” hands snake up to gently massage her shoulders.  

Eve sighs with pleasure as she leans back into the warmth of the black cloaked figure, and then frowns. “Oh, because well, I’ve been told that it will make me know things… forbidden things. And well, God told me not to. I’m not supposed to. Like I can’t touch the good china. Whatever that is.”

“Hm.” looks thoughtful “I honestly don’t think S/He’s going to mind.”

“Really? You don’t?”

Lucifer nods knowingly and continues to work his hands and fingers over her shoulders and back.

“Yeah… um… S/He’s got other trees… somewhere else. Over there somewhere”waves a hand vaguely into the distance “And you know what? S/He’s just being a controlling bitch, like when S/He said I wasn’t allowed to set that pig on fire to see what it would taste like, or that I wasn’t allowed wear that evening dress anymore because it looked better on me..”

“Oh, ok!” She pauses, slightly confused. “You think it’s going to be ok?”

“Really. I’ve known that old queen for a long time now. It’s not like S/He’s NEVER going to forgive you… um.. ah….. Do you like my coat?” leaps back and spins distractingly to show off velvet overcoat.

Eve claps her hands together and squeaks excitedly.  “I do! But… Why do you two wear those… things over your bodies?”

“Well, you’ll understand soon enough – but for us? Because they’re fun and we, well…” spreads hands in mock-humility “I look great in them.”

Eve nods in vehement agreement.  “Yes! You do look very pretty… though… I…. still would like to see you without them!” Her words come out in a rush and her breathing quickens slightly, “And.. well…” guilty look “I was getting a little bored with just Adam…”

“Yes, well… ahem. I do also very much enjoy your unclothed self – but before we get to that… Something else I do enjoy, though not nearly as luscious, is a sweet, forbidden apple…”

S/he grabs the apple, looks her in the eyes and bites into it deliberately – sighing lustily as a perfect drop makes its suspiciously perfect way down a sculpted chin.

“Mmm. Sacrilicious…”

Eve salivates, and giggles. “Oooohhhhh it looks so good! And if you think it’s ok…”

Grinning, Lucifer offers her the apple.

Eve reaches out with a hesitant hand, and Lucifer places it into her hand, fingers trailing softly over her wrist as they let go.  Eve holds up the fruit reverently, and looks around quickly… Lucifer makes little go on movements with his hands, and she smiles uncertainly and raises it to her lips.  She wraps perfect lips around the smooth rosy red outline of skin. She bites into it, the juices of the sweet and forbidden nectar filling her pretty little mouth for the first time.

An expression of ecstacy fills her face as her eyes close and she groans, chewing and swallowing.
Suddenly, they flick open, a rush of thoughts taking flight across across her face, new connections being made, alien knowledge filling her previously innocent mind.

She shudders, eyes rolling back for a moment, and Lucifer steadies her on her feet, arms around her shoulders.

Her eyes widen, and she looks down.

“I’m naked…”

Her mouth forms a perfect O of horror…


“It’s ok, it’s ok,” Lucifer tuts soothingly, stroking her neck, “The shame is ok. The shame is… fun. Here, this will help – have some leaves.”

“Oh, fuck me. I feel a lot better. Fuck. Wow what is that word? It sounds naughty, but delightful.”

purrs “It is. Now try something.”

S/He stares at her intensely, seriously.

“Take…. Off…. THAT leaf.


Eve gasps. “Oh! Really?” She starts to remove the leaf… and pauses. “But… I feel… strange about it. Like… the shame is turning into something else.”

Chuckles throatily “Good. “You’re doing it right then. Keep going.”

she slowly removes first leaf

“Oh my.”  Her cheeks are flushed, and the leaf flutters away in the wind. “I feel. I feel so… naughty!” She looks away bashfully.

“Mmm.  Naughtiness suits you, my dear…”

“I know! And now… now, there’s this Other feeling about it. And I’m all tingly…. I haven’t felt this tingly since Adam killed that mammoth and brought me a tusk…”

“Good… Good… You’re definitely doing it right. Now take off the other leaves. Slowly. And wiggle a little. Yes. Just like that.” Lucifer purrs some more as S/He slowly ties a bunch of vines into one long cord and begins playing with them, twirling the cord in midair in small hypnotic circles.

“Oh… this feels so bad.” giggles “But it feels so good.”

“Just so…” Coils the vines into a neat spool “Doesn’t being naked again just… feel so damn sexy?”


“Mmm yes. And you look it too. Come here.” vines whip around her as Eve is pulled giggling into the Stranger’s grasp…


some time passes…. Birds tweet….
A lot of time passes…


Scene: Lucifer languidly undoes the last of the vines from around her, looking rather pleased with himself as he smokes something out of another leaf.

“OH FUCK, Adam never did me that good. And that shit with the vines! I didn’t know that’s what TREES were for!” She shivers delightedly as she brushes leaves out of hair, examining and comparing them, then arranging a selection carefully on her bits.

She sighs disgustedly – “Adam just doesn’t care anymore, it’s just in and out and then he just sits around watching those different coloured gorillas fight over that dead pig. Just running from one end of the field with it to the other, and hitting each other, while he makes the same sounds that they do.” She hoots and grunts and makes an adorable cross eyed face of disgust, then pouts again.

Lucifer flicks out the glowing butt and plumes out smoke, eyes gleaming wickedly.

“Oh, he’ll be more fun in a bit… Trust me. Come on, let’s give him the apple too… we’ll make him do the leaf thing…. and I’ll show you how to do the vine thing.”

Her face lights up, and an evil grin spreads across her face.


Eve skips off ahead.

Lucifer follows slowly, whistling. A glowing, lecherously grinning, bearded old transvestite with somewhat dishevelled robes steps out of the bushes and hi-fives the figure in the hat on its’ way past.

“You owe me an evening dress, honey.”

Shut up. And keep feeding them apples.”

And the rest is history.