So, as someone who’s always had a deeply spiritual side to my sexuality and who practices sex magick and incorporates elements of various alternative practices into my own, I’ve noticed a trend in the conscious community that really, really, really bugs me.
Because for a community that speaks of, and on the surface, values authenticity, connection, compassion and community, there are quite a few very outspoken individuals who, pardon my french, have their heads so far up their own arses and yet are absolutely obviously in complete denial of the stench that surrounds them that it’s a satire of itself.
I’ve seen practitioners who, when their integrity or practices are called into question, have effectively invalidated and gaslit those who have criticised them, and then turned their weird, patronising, shaming rants into some kind of marketing post for their services.
And it makes me enraged. It makes me enraged when those in a position of power use that privilege to advance their own personal gains, and take any criticism of their practices and turn it into a weird narcissistic validation of themselves, while taking a holier-than-thou “oh, pity the one who hasn’t seen the light and is taking out their flaws on me” attitude.
It enrages me when people who have danced around the trappings of sex work openly bandy about their whorephobic, sex shaming rants while trying to capitalise on erotic labour. Who enforce patriarchy, simplistic essentialism and gross hierarchical behaviours while paying lip service to authentic connections, and disregard the deep, messy, primal, dark parts of our souls which need feeding. Who shame those who walk their own paths, and try to foist their own privileged, fearful, morally stultifying perspectives onto all of the rest of us.
It makes me enraged when those who have a voice and an audience who look up to them take advantage of those vulnerable and in need to promise some kind of pyramid scheme of enlightenment while all the while not acknowledging their own flaws or taking any kind of ownership of their mistakes.
I’m a deeply flawed human being. I have a BPD and CPTSD diagnosis. I battle my own demons every single day to try, try and try to be the best person that I can. I will and do invariably fail, but the work continues, and when I make mistakes, I do my absolute best to examine myself and own my part of it, make reparations and continue to do the work to evolve, change, and be my best self for me, those that I love and those whom I work with and on. I work constantly to transmute those worst parts of myself, to turn that energy to serve in positive ways instead of negatively destructive ones.
I always *try* to check myself to make sure my mouth isn’t writing checks that my soul can’t cash. And I INVITE those who are basically playing with people’s souls, hearts, bodies and minds to take a good look at themselves, and maybe actually cultivate a sense of authentic humility and openness to acknowledge their own failings and ACTUALLY work to see where they may have not actually aligned their stated aims with their practices instead of turning on their deflection shields.
Honestly, fuck you. I ain’t got time for that. I won’t stand for it, I won’t stay silent about this frankly gross capitalisation on enlightenment without authentic self reflection, or the unbridled narcissism and entitlement that pervades the community.
I won’t name names because honestly, I don’t have the time or the energy to get in one on one shit-fights online, but everyone PLEASE – if something doesn’t sit right with you, and the person whom you’re criticising then turns that ALL around on you without even an effort at self reflection, then please – realise it’s not about you, it’s about their ego.
Find others, talk with them, ask about their experiences. You’re not alone, and while, yes, we are all flawed humans who all need to work on our own stuff, no ONE person has the answer, and when many people have a problem with one person from personal interactions, that person really needs to sit down and question whether their own practices need to be examined, deconstructed and rebuilt into something which aligns with the aims of the community their claim to be serving.
Be well, and stay safe.